Wake Up Happy: The Dream Big, Win Big Guide to Transforming Your Life by Michael Strahan

Author:Michael Strahan [Strahan, Michael]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw
Publisher: Atria / 37 Ink
Published: 2015-10-12T22:00:00+00:00

11

WHAT I LEARNED FROM CHRIS MARTIN AND COLDPLAY

Rule #11

You can’t change other people, but you can change how you are around them, and sometimes, a lot of times, that’s more than enough.

MY BATTLE WITH Giants coach Tom Coughlin was, and in some quarters still is, legendary, but what it taught me is applicable to anyone who’s had what they believe is a horrible boss. This is the thing: I truly believe that although the archetype of the difficult boss is hilarious on film, the truly horrible boss is a myth. There are talented people who don’t know how to communicate with and inspire the people they lead (which, to my mind, is the category that Tom fell into). Then there are people who are out of their depth, and so they compensate in all kinds of ways. And behind door number three of bad bosses, we have the people who never really grew up. One study of US employees who consider their bosses to be a nightmare compared their “leader” to a tyrannical toddler: selfish, overdemanding, impulsive, and interrupting.

None of these people are fun to work for, but I can tell you—from experience—that you can learn something from each kind. In particular, you’ll learn something about yourself from each type that will help elevate your game, no matter what your field, and you’ll learn something about human nature, which will help you in future relationships. As much as we like to think we’re all these super-unique individuals, human behavior has patterns that connect us and show up time and time again. What you learn from a horrible boss could save your next relationship, or help you get along with your annoying sister, or help you win over the condo board president who likes to throw her or his weight around or the contractor who knows bupkes about time management. It’s all grist for the mill. Nothing is wasted if you’re paying attention and intent on improving the situation. Of course, I learned all of this the hard way.

The first time I ever met Tom Coughlin face-to-face was in his first season as head coach for the Giants. In this encounter, Tom’s attitude seemed to be “You’ve had a pretty good career, but if you listen to every single thing I say, I’ll make you a real football player.” I’d heard about Tom before that meeting. At least ten players who had played for him in the past talked to me about Coughlin. Nine out of the ten complained about his unusual rules and rigidity. One player called him an abusive warden.

As I’ve written elsewhere, I was scheduled to be out of town for the first meeting that Coughlin called and he was furious about it. He said, “Give me the names and numbers of the people running this event and I will call them personally and cancel for you.” Mind you, he never asked me if I could reschedule the event. He ordered me to do it.

I was already so over him, but I tried to compromise.

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